Sally Glass - America's Favorite Pregnant Preteen!

dear diaree,

so like mary alice was like assking me who my favoite grrrl bands and like old man admireres i have so many so i narowid it down to like my top 5 bitches that rock.

1. katheline hanna / bakini kill

like bikine kill started the riot grrrl revolushin sometime in the early 90's or something but like i wasnt even born yet so theyre retro or old. Bikini Kill are from olympia, seattle and like that is the home of grunge, starbucks chain stores and heroin. they got there name because the singer had a bikini fetish and like only wore bikinin underwear even in the winter what a weirdo...

bikine kills lead singer tobi started the band after her attempt at fanzine publishing never caught on and its not because she didn't give it her best it was because she wrote the whole thing in crayon and it was like to hard to read. dummy.

bikine kill proves that you don't need any musical experience, training, vocal range, or even talent for that matter to be empowered and inspiring. they have united grrrlz around the globe and encouriged them to put down dolls, pick up guitars and pull their dresses over their head while screaming rape.

2. Theos Kogan / Lunachiks

Light as a feather stiff as a board! Like the Lunachicks could kick L7's ass anyday...and like just about anyones ass now that i think about it.

They are like from new york city and stuff and they are super punk rock. they mix and mingle with the toilet boys, (another sassy band from new york with a super vixen grrrl singer Miss Guy), make underground films and sometimes theo gets naughty in jersey hotels with her boyfriend and takes a camera crew with them!

All of Lunachicks songs are under 4 minutes and like that is cool because my attention span is just about the same. My favorite song is "light AS A Feather" and like we think it is about that stupid movie "The Craft" with Nimbus Cambell where they put on too much black makeup and think that makes them witches. Please. So does that make me Mathew Perry when i steal prescriptions?

3. Tori Amus

Tori Amos is sorta intense and stuff and like she doesn't even play guitar she plays both the piano and other grrrlz to so i think she is bi like me and mary alic.

toris writhes around on her piano bench singing about cornflakes and throwing stupid boys into volcanos. What a sassy job! Plus she smacked John Norris from Mtv one night cause he said that Madonna was cooler then she was and she call him a sod and they started wrestling. something similar happed with bijork once too but it was in an airport and John Norris wasn't there.

although tori really doesn't fall under the rigot grrrl catagory she is a cool artist and stuff even if her hair is not real. iam just like glad that she is not on 90210 and stuff anymore cause that show was so gay and they were 30 pretending to be like 16 and stuff...ugh.

4. Debby Harry / Blondie

everyone from Madossa to Courntey Love to Qwen Steffanie owe Debby Harry a big thank you. like to quote Sangra Bernhard, brielfy, without her, they would be nothing!

Blondie is the original sassy grrrl. She bleached her hair all the time and they named the band after her, not the other people in the band, the boys, and she wore razor blade dresses and shirts with no pants on stage like mary Alice does for her funny uncle and sang songs about stalkers and the Manson family and blood tests. Atomic!

Like Blondie is so empowered that like she even caught the attention of mass killer ted bundy because she was a cross over artist and like he tried to stuff her in his volkswagon. but she punched him in the face and got away. dumb boy. But like watch Summer of Sam and you can see!

5. PJ Harvey

PJ Harvey is like Jim morrison but unlike him who is like dead and stuff she is very much alive, she just sorta sounds a little dead.

PJ Harvey is from Mineeapolis and, supriseingly she was never a girl friend of Prince! Not many grrrlz know about her and like her songs. She writes about 50 foot woman killing boys and snakes that make her moan in the garden of eden. She like even opened up for U2! and despite what rumors you have heard there no realation to harvey weinsteen.

She did like a photography book once and the whole thing is just like pictures of her floating in famous rivers like the nille and the thammes and stuff dressed like Opheelia. Hope she had leach repellant.