deer diary,

so like after schol i snuck out of my house to go over to mary alioces to set the meth lab back up. like my espesoh diet works but like i cant fall asleep at night and my stomach feelslike i ate tacks and that sucks so back to meth!

so anyway off to mary alices to set up the lab and like we decided to keep it in one of the rooms in her cellar cause its like a maze down therre and nobody would be suspicious so we picked one of the rooms far away from her uncles trains. like hes really weird he has all these boy scout books down there, like an entire librery or something and then the weirdest thing was the room that had these small kid mainikins dressed like boy scouts but like they were tied up. i just closed the door and found anotherr room for the lab.

so like we are back in business well not really business caus the meth is just for our hollywood diet and the store finally got in more sudafed isle 3 so ill be super skinny again soon. i am bi

xxx sally glass

hi bllog,

madinna is kinda sassy cause she used to wear her undies on the outside of her clothes and like i dont know what else she did cause im only 15. but i do remember seeing something on mtv news about her abducting and old woman and running dumb boys over in her camaro and that is sassy. oh and then i saw her she was dressed like patty hearts and was whipping granaids at president blush. and i guess now shes hung up and dancing in diners in her leotards and high heels so i guess shes come full circle.

like hi bog,

like i am sorry i havent writen you until now like i have been busy with stupid school...

so like the day after my stupid school meeting where they crucifyed me like i thought i would do the right thing and like turn over a leaf and all that business so like yesterday i went to schol in a catholic girl school uniform and for fuck sake they like sent me HOME! I was like you are kidding me right and they were like wrong cause they thought i was being 'sarcastic in my approach'. what the f?

so like back to school today dressed like my normil sassy self and they were even less impressed to see what i was doing in drama class for my 'the passion of the schivo' one woman play. so it wass a good idea to scrap my ann frank musical i guess.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

like hi blog,

so like it looks like i have outdun my self this time. i was suspended again from shcool yesterday becaus of my sassy fetus perse and the facilty had a secret meeting about me and hauled me and my mother into school yesterday to "talk".

so like they said to my mom that i am "troubled" and that if i dont get my act together i will have to go to another school. my mom was like shocked and was like what did Sally do and they ran down the list:

smoking in the bathroom
fighting with other students
starting a fire in the copy room
stealing sciense equipmint to make a meth lab
telling everyone shes bi
dumping a pound of glitter into the forced air vent
faking orgasims in the library (whic was mary alice not me)
calling the gym teacher a fruit
calling the french teacher a freedom fighter
and like of course making a fetus into a purse

oh and they said i have to stop putting my leg up on my desk like courtiney. my mom wass like speachless and so now i am punished for indefinitly and like i have to come home right after scjol and that sucks. they told her that i had too much free time on my hands and like my odd behviour was most likely the sign of not having a creative outlet so i am now being forced to join the drama club at school.

i met some of the kids today and they seemed ok on the plus side alot of the boys are bi so they wont be messing with me so like our home work was to write a 10 minute long one person play and we have to perform it in 2 weeks. so my play is going to be called The Pashin of the Schiavo.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

like what up blog,

so like in sciense class we have been discussing like how bad people are ruinging the earth because of global warning and stuff so our teacher gave us an assignment where we had to take some junk people normaily thrown out and recyle it into something useful.

so like for my project i took a fetus and like made it into a purse! like i thought i was going to get an a+ for it but the teaher started crying and i got sent home with a note tnat said i need to see a spechilist whatever at least i got to keep my sassy purse! i am bi

xxx sally

like blog,

so i had a date for tonight with adam but like i canciled it cause mary alice told me that a janiter at school cought him suckin the snake of some guy in the gym...ugh fruits.

so like i was forcid to stay in and watch tv and like so did you see extreem home makeover? well its like this how where they take poor people who fucked up their lives with credit card det or have 80 kids and like they throw out their old home and give them a new one filed with laptops, iods and fancy flat tvs. so apprently there are no more poor people left in the country cause tonight the family they had on was some single guy who adopted his ded sisters kids and they had a weird shaped home.

and i know it sucks that she dies and all but like i kept thinking about the kids in like someplacelike harlem who are watching this show who have lost their mother, father and their relatives in some gang shooting and like their grandparents have aids and smoke crack, now THATS rought, living in a sorta ugly home doesnt really count as stuggling. this country is so spolied. i m going to call extreem homes tomorrow and tell them i am hooked on espressoh and see what prizes i can get.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

ps i spray painetd my black bery pink and like it is SO sassy!

like hi blog,

i was at the mall today with my mon cause she forced me to go shoppinging with her so i killed time on my black bery and like was on some lame chatroom and like you would not belive how disempowered some grrlz are...well like maybe you would , parass hilton is unescapable.

but not her like there was yet another grrrl whos life was in turmoile cause of some stupid boy and wah wah wah so i was like when does it stop, when do grrrls get empowered again and stop giving dumb boys such cntrol over their lives. and like so they other grrls got pissy at me for saying so. what the f? what was their genious advice to the victom you ask,? oh, poor you, watch tv and eat comfort food. like thats not a cure for depression that IS depression.

where did this generashin of cripples come from? i think its too much lifetime, that lame chanel "for women" that says if a man hurts you than you have the right to get hooked on drugs, shoot him, get away with it and then cry because it was 'against the law' and blame the hole thing on a patrichal society and as a bonis prize a hasbeen actress will put on a poney tale and play you on Tv. fuck that!

well ya know what? men are in power because like THEY GET OUT OF BED! like dr. kimberly shaw would say 'no more victoms'! now get out of bed, take a shower cause you wreek of pee and live your life.

xxx sally glass

so blog,

so like we had to move the meth lab cause my mom was geting suspishus. i came home from school and shes like whats that smell in your room and i was like dont ask me about the smell in my room and i wont ask dad about the smell in your room you anal pyrate! it was funy to see the color drain from her face.

so like we had to shut down the lab for now so we put everything in our sassy silver backpaks and dragged it over to mary alices house. its probably safer over there anyway cause mary alice only lives with her funny uncle and hes locked away in the basement playing with his trains. so like our meth diet is on hold for the weekend anyway cause we cant find anymore stores that sell sudafed aisle 3 cause we cleaned them all out.

going to make espresoh and rethink my wateloss plans for the weekend i am bi

so dear blog,

i am like bored to tears like i am in the library at schol and like we have 15 more looong minites until we can go to lunch and like mary aloce is acting weird so they seperated us. like we were just sitting here talking about which of are teahers are fruits and like out of nowhere she just startss faking sex noises at the top of her lungs and i was like nock it off and the libarien came over and was like miss mary alice are you ok and she was like yeah i am just really enjoying this book so he told her to enjoy it on the other side of the libbrary so now im bored...and bi

xxx sally

like hi dear blog,

so like we are on day two of like making meth and like since like it takes along time to make it mary aloce made us a sassy mix mp3 of songs to make meth to and so heres wat were lisening to:

1. marilin manson - personal jesus
evin if it IS a song about a boy sung by another boy but like its ok cause poor jesus was doomed from the start i mean his mother was a liar his girlfriend was a whore...id end up on sticks too!

2. corntey love - life despite god
this song is sassy cause like crotney lives in the house where the red lights always on and we use only red lites in the met lab, weird huh.

3. alice and chains - dirt
like i know, i know, enough with the dumb boy music but like the singer had so much dope running threw his veins at any given time he could have turned the farmasutical industry on its head but hes dead know so thats like not likely to hapin.

4. beyork - where is the line
like we like beyork but her music is like to fucking distracting, i mean were mixing chemikils here people!!!

so like its not a lot of music but like thats ok cause we have a lot of work to do so like i am glad i paid attention in home eech class so like heres our resipee like we are going to send it to marthas cockbook when we are done too:

sally and marty aliceos recipe for meth:

sudafed (aisle 3)
iodine
liter fluid
old barette
piece of gum

so like the lady at the stupermarkiet wanted to know why we were cleaning them out of sudefed and i said like oh my moms sick and shes like well how sick is she?finally i was like look shes fucking sick so stop wasting my time miss fucking questchins! she rang us up and we went back to work. ia mab bi

xxx sally

like dear blog,

like guess what! i have set up my own meth lab!

like the health teacher at school showed us one of those 'scare the kids' films about something called meth which i have never heard of but thanks to school i do now! i guess meth is this sassy drug that is the the first step in the three step

so like i ordered my chemicils from the online and stolse lots of bekkers from skience class and set up my own lab see

like hi diry,

i just got home from school and have to tell you about new song i rote in detention!

see like me and mary alice started our own empowered Riggot Grrl band and it is called Dolls Vomit and we almost calld it Wrapper Snapper like i saw it on the ice cream truck and i thought there was a dragon in there and so i was afraid to peek in but its just a hole to throw garbage. why not just call it trash? i guess dolls vomet is not so much a band as it is my on guitar mary aloce on drums and a tape loop of a devo sample but we are sassy.

boys, the toys, that nobody wants

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
oh boys are the toy
that nobodie wants
like christmas morning
the package looks better
underneath the tree

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
my sex toy
is better than a real boy
its doesnt get sick in the bathroom
after its been out all night drinking with its friends

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
boys are the toys
that nobody wants
boys are the toys
paris hilton flaunts
and shes such a whore

i am bi

xxx sally

like dear diar,

i finally got my new computir today and like look how impowered it is!

so like i spent the afternon loading all my bootleged softwear i got from livewrie and i am i already imported my moms stolen outlook contacts into it so i can pick up where i left off with my great nemsis nancy grace i am bi

xxx sally glass

drear diary,

like omg i am going to explode from cafeen cause like i am on a diet and like have not been eating because i gained two pounds since chistmas so like i am on a noneating binge and came up with motivashinal frases to help me be sassier.

Sallys Motivashonal Waitloss Frazes:
1. food is poison
2. god hates fat people
3. happiness is a feeding tube
4. more ribs meens more sass!

so like back to my shaking, like for breakfist i made espresoh and then i ran the espresho back threw the machine with more esprespo and like i am on some other planet but not sure which one. i can hardly peck my black verry. almost time for lunch wich will consit of water and aplle.

i am bi

like dear dirty,

is it really me you ask? well its like not jt leroy and who knows who that is like oh i do i have been on my blakberty all day surfing the web during my inhous detention and like it turns out the like my fav writter is fake.

so grown up jt wrote all these books about his gay sex sheninigans and jackalope and like he wouldnt talk to people so he hid in the closet cause he had aids and poor him his olny friends were ssassy shirley manson, carrie fisher and courtney love and like the only time this poor recluse would go out was like to swank partyies dressed in over sized liz claiborned clothing and get everything for free. like life sucks.

so it turns out the jt is a figment of some lady larua bush and like one of her husbands step kids named savanah knoop is the person in the wigs and sunglasses though we thought for sure it was jenna i am bi

xxx sally glass

like hi diarry,

today me and mary alice were in the park and like we were drinking magic punch wich is vodka and capri sun and like fell asleep cause like we had too much magic i think and like i woke up and felt something, no not myself, i felt like someting in my hair and it was a bird! i screamed and stuff and swattid at it but i only got it more tangled and stuff and i thought i was going to die and mary alice woke up and like started swinging a stick at me before it pecked my eyes out and that sucked cause she hit me in the face now i have a red mark and the pijun finally got away and like it took a hunk of hair for its stupid nest or something. i hate nature damn bird i am bi.

xxx Sally

dear blog, like happy new year!

so i knoe you are just dying to know what i did for new yeras eve after everyone left my bi makeout party.

so like after we were all done making out which was like 7 minutes because my sassy friends are sucky kissers we stole my moms car and decided to play demolishion derby because she has been such a pagan whore the past few months

so like me marry alice, stacey, lexus and niagra got into the car and like we were only a little drunk and like so we tryed to play demolishion derby with some dumb boy and like he didnt want to play and like look what happened!

dear dairy,

did you see marih carey last night on dick clark what a heffer! did like someone offer her the diet plan kristy alley used to be on??? its no wonder it was in like time square those are the only monitors in the world shed fit on!!!!

poor pariah she used to be known for her high octain voice then she was known for being Tommy Motorola's bitch and then she made Litter and wass known for nothing.

now shes just looking like a wildabeasst. i wonder if she snacks from one of those jars that despense feed for a quarter i am bi

xxx sassy skinny sally