like hi blog eben though this post about American idol is all about boys I am STILL catrogonizing it under 'Disempowered Bitches' because this season of amrican idol guys sucks. Last season they sort of sucked too but Ace was cute and made a nice fuck buddy for Ryan Seacrest and the Doughtery guy had a good voice I guess.
I think Randy and Simon were drinking from Paula's cup this year during Hollywood week because these guys are such dorks and I am their demographic! They are like singing songs that either I have never heard or songs that I have only heard while in the dentist office. Here are the guys and why I think they suck:
1. Blake Lewis - Like I dont like him because you know he spends more time affecting his manerisms and that tired, tired, tired, faux hawk than he does on his songs. Like he knows he is cute and actes like he knows he is cute which is a turnoff to everyone but Ryan Seacrest who waits patiently outside his dresssing room hoping to catch a peek of him without his shirt on or casually rub his crotch up against him like he used to do to Ace.
2. Brandon Rogers - I liked him beter as Tony Sinclair in those Tankeray commericla.s
3. Chris Richardson - His name bores me.
4. Chris Sligh - Even though he looks like the bastard love child between sideshow bob and Jack Osbourne I kind of like him because he is funny and he has a voice and his girlfriend is preety and she's bi.
5. Jared Cotter - I dont like him but like he will probably get a record deal and again I will get a chance to hear all those songs again in the dentists but on the plus side that made me stop eatingsugar.
6. Nicholas Pedro - From Massachusits...like do I need to say more? Mass-hole!
7. Paul Kim - Should have kept his house boy slippers on and layed off the Gerorge Michael I mean cmon, why are you singing songs by someone who keeps getting busted for sucking off guys in the bathroom and smoking pot? Its like doing a Avril Lavigne song and wondering why all the grrrlz in the audience hate you.
8. Phil Stacey - zzzz
9. Rudy Cardenas - Was voted off to quick to make in ampression...thank god.
10. Sanjaya Malakar - Like this kid should be kept waaaay in the back of Michael Jackson's closet where he belongs for fucks sake! Each week he gets more and more whistful and it drives me crazy but i THInk this week he'll be making the magic carpet ride back to the falafel cart.
11. Sundance Head - Sounds like a porn name
I cant wait for when they do Nirvanan week and we get to watch Courtney Love and Paula Abdul play drinking games. How emepowered.
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