like hi blof

with all this dr lilla desease and desist restrianing order NONSENCE i almost forget to tell you that i finally found mary alice and like i havent seeen her in months or something and like i thought her chrischin fundamenitlist parints sent her off to jesus camp again like they did last year after she played Teri Shivo in my play The Pashin Of The Shivo but no she achuily was abduckted by her uncle

he is like a freak and lives in this creepy house near the woods and like the house has this tunnel sort of maze underneath it like silenice of the lambs and like me and mary aloice snuck down there one day and like he had all these boy scount manikins down there with shitrts on but no pants and cages and lots of dvds and i was this is how he entertains its no wonder he has know friends and like didnt think of it.

but mary aloice said that he made her dance for his friends and stuff and he videeio taped it and like they put it on the goggle which is kind of gross and like they made her go on the key diet like dr lila so she is super skinnty thoug not as skinny as me and she said it burns when she pees and i was like isnt it supose too?

anyway she looks tweeked so her mom put her to bed three days ago and she is still sleeping so when she walkeds up i will ask her more about her undeground sex work like thats so fucked WHERE IS DATELINE WHEN YOU NEED THEM like they atre wasting their time "capchuring sex offenders" though I gueess if they were REALLT good at their job they wouldnt be catching so many first time offenders...think ABOUT THAT NANCY GRACCCE!

LIKE Catie couric says.. PEACCE OUT BITCHES

xxx

sally

hi blog,

i am like realiy upset that like dr lilas is still not talking to me she even sent me a retsaint order even though i live in PA NOT NEW YORIK but like this fancy court paper says that she things I am a THREAT and a NUSISINCE and that if she finds anymore baby dolls with nives stuck in their heads outside her office than i will be arestid

so like i am writing a new saphroic play about being dumped by dr loila and it will be called COLOR MY ASS LIZA and it will deal with all the motionsial greef and pain that she caused me by breaking up with me even though when she was working o my back she touched my boob once and did i sent her a DESCEST AND DIDSIST letter....NO

saly

like everyone knows i dont watch tv because i find all of those meninyne hygine product comershils disgustin and like the world doesnt need to constintly be reminded that grrrlz burst once a month and like the guy from south park says "i dont trust anything that bleeds for sevin days and live"...EXACTLY so they make boys think we are untrustwortyh.

but I was bored and put on the TV the other night and saw that stupid show with Ty Pembington call AMICAS EXTREEME HOME MAKEOUVER and i cant evin BEGIN to te;; you how offensive i find it...but i'll try!

the pretense of the show is that the AEHM team troll the Google and find some poor family that has 12 kids and lives in a mototr oil shantee or like some other family where the mother and father didnt feel like cleaning their house and the TV show, along with a SICKENING AMOUNT OF CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP comes in, send the disempowered family on a cruise while the AEHM knocks down their old roach motel and builds them a new ski resort sized house which the family will never beable to afford to pay the taxes on nevermind the utilitee bills...GREAT PLAN!

but thats not even the worse part! SEARS the show is hosted by that sun baked fake model cum carpintar from Trading Spaces Tye Pembington who has all the charm of an 8 year old boy on Red Bull. He cant utter a single word without screaming it and his body constantly writhes and shakes so much that you think cocaine will spinkles out of his ears at some point.

HOME DEPOT He is accompanied by a sterile bunch of focus group picked sidekicks to help him build the unfortunate familys a new McMansion: the pretty blonde lady with horsey chicklet vineers, the fruity interior designer who makes everything FABOULUS!!!, the bald Collin Farrell lookalike carpenter… all of whom do an excellent job with there affected speech and crying-on-cue blubbering!

LOWES Weekafter week they lift up dirty welcome mats to find the most poorest family in the most poorest towns in America and lay a big slopping bowl of molasses and sprinkled sugar on them telling them that’s ITS OK they had 15 kids and like and like ITS OK their kids had kids and all 35 of them live in one house and have spent beyond their means and now live in emotioshinal and finanshil ruin because in CORPORATE SPONSORED AMERICA, there is no such things as accountability so get on your DISNEY CRUISE and let SEARS, LOWES, HOME DEPOT, FRIGIDAIRE, VIKING, DELL, POTTERY BARN, GE swoop in and make it all better.

Insert finger, VOMIT!

like i am confusid and dont now what to do like since dr lila broke up with me i ahve been trying to fgyure out a way to get her back to i bot a wee jee board and thought i would try to chanel the gost of jane mansfeld, you know, mariskas law and orders mother, and like because i thought she was blonde and empowererred and maybe she could help me.

but like mary alice started making fun of the bord doing all that lite as a feather stiff as a board faruza balk - the craft shit and like the bored flew across the room and mary alice thought the gosts where mad and i was like no bitch, that we me, your pising me off so i threw MA out and started playing nice with the wee jee bord and like knocked on it and aske if jane was home and like someone invited me in for ice tea but like it tunred out no to be jane but instead it was a bad spirit and it flew out of the bord and into my closit and now i am fucked because i have to get dressed but i cant open the door.

so i asked Ribbits if i can borrow some of his paintings to scare the ghosts away i heard that they make great theft deterents so i figured maybe they would scar the afterlife too.

please HELP ME I AM BI

hey bloig

I have been ignotring you havent i? we;ll my vaginal art show wasa sicuis but thats not why i am riting you tonight like i was just reading som love letter s though my gmail and g stands for grrrrl like tes ligres bikin kill carly simone would say but here are some love notes i thought i wouldshare:

On 4/4/07, Nick Drakovich <darkchivo2@hotmail.com> wrote:
sally you are nobody's favorite and you are very conceeded .don't you ever talk about DAVEY HAVOK again a lot more people have respect for him then you so keep your fucking mouth shut

hey bitch thanks for witting

isince you are goggling your life away online looking for davee havik related website let me offer your some condolinsis. i would think with rolling stone and the resirjince of the everthin spin magazine that you would have your fill on a band that really doesnt do that much othir than improve the stock price of wet and wild eyeliner. i mean his body is hot i guess but that drag queen head has to go. its like, why would i make out with my gay uncle from p town?

i am bi

sally

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On 5/24/07, Nawfal Jules <jules_nawfal@hotmail.com> wrote:
hey , my name is jules and i'd love if you told me how , when and where you had sex . could you also send me a pic of you please . 10x . bye

hi jules

like i have sex all thime usily with the lights off unless theyre on and its only a nightlite in my doll house but thta scares me becaue i feel like my toys will come alive like some scary stemen king novel or that doll from triloge of teroror

so whn: alot
whre: in the closit
pictures: no

i am bi

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Susan Walker <cjwalker@insightbb.com> to me
show details May 25

Your a real Class Act.

Hi!

im flattereid whenever i get email from a scullery maid with pecyuliar capiltalization!

xxx sally glass

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pat to me
show details May 25

Yes, yes, yes!!!! You described that idiot Elisabeth H from The View perfectly...She is beyond stupid...and a no-talent creep!!!! Why is she there???!!! Crazy!! Now that Rosie's gone, I will probably stop watching...I like Joy but without Rosie, Joy will be the voice of sanity crying in the wilderness of stupidity with that moron EH!!!

hi sasy lady!

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is stupid and talintless. The View ratings have plumited tremenidly since Rosie left it like she maed it relevant timely and worldy and now that shes gone EH just talks about how much she loves the NRA that she felates a gun each night before she goes to bed and prays to Saint Ted Nugent to keep her fetal mishap safe.

Joy ROCKS! and she is empowered but the show is like the tonight show minus johnny carson and all thtas left is ed mecman and his PCH envelpoes.though i did love the recint Joan Rivers episode where she was breast feeding a doll on live TV and like most mosthirs got sick of it and ditchid it behind the sofa! now were talking!

they need new skinny courtney love back on to shake shit up.

peace out1

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Anne White <aiw.eew@verizon.net> to me
show details May 25

First thing I noticed is how little knowledge you have of basic
elementary school spelling and grammar, hence much of what you said
is lost to anyone with any intelligence. Try saying it in English.

hI cARRY white, first thing i noticed is that your mom locked you in a cloeset because you were advertising the dirty pillows! what puzzles me is that since i am obviously beneath your intelectual standard that you woukd take the 2 minuntes to send me and email spell check it to make sure your smart and send it to me.

isnt there likea show on HGTV you should be watching now while the cat is aslep?

suck it

xxx

sally glass

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Joni DeLuca <jonideluca@imagelineprod.com> to me
show details May 30

If you are going to call someone (Elizabeth) stupid, you need to check
the spelling on your web page regarding Rosie and Elizabeth's argument.
You too, are not coming across as the brightest crayon in the box!

Dear Join!

Last i checked is that i didnt have to subscribe to male patrical societys dictionary.com in order to express myself and the fact that you took a few mins out of your empty life to dimiss me proves my messige is coming through loud and clear.

xxx

sally glass