Sally Glass - America's Favorite Pregnant Preteen!

Dr Liloos and Jermy Kanye = Rude

2007-09-11T00:41:16Z

like hi bulitin like you wont beleeve this! so after dr lilllaa dumpss me for...a boy...ha! and like then she has the nerve to get a restrayning order on me when i try to patch things up by calling her every 20 minutes and IMing her all the time but like this takes the caike! one of dr liloos friends payed trubute to me saturday by painting an enourmous painting of me in a park filled with drunks and drug addicts...and dr l and Jermy Kanye go and have some sort of hipster picknic in front of it! how dare she mock my anguish? just wait until I am done with COLOR MY ASS LIL!A

boulevardier hates Courtney Fans

2007-09-04T05:34:43Z

like hi blog i was just checking my my space acount and like i am pissed because like courtney love defreiend me and even thoug i kno eits not her that realy runs her account i am pissed because some self entitled fruitopian named 'boulevardier' is in carge of her accoutn which means whens hes in a bad mood and his rufus wainright CD skips he starts editing crotney fan page and that sucks. that sad part is that he posts so many random thought about his lame lif e and being suesd by a colledge and stuff like.. just because courtney is crazy nd likes dramam and attenthion, jusyt because you make your own drama...it doesnt mean youre interesting.... i am bi

COLOR MY ASS LILA

2007-09-02T01:30:24Z

Like what uop blog I am likr e hopfully you had a goos summer because I didn’t I got pison ivy in the woods behind my house because I showed some boy my clam bake and then I got robbed by som homeless man at the liqker store I gave him twentee dolirs and he didn’t buy me anthing he just left and then I found out my mom hired me some lame tutor so I can pass a graed in school and it turns out hes a fruit and appreshiates my sassyness . So other than that I have bein working on my one grrrl play about my breif afare with Dr. Lilos called COLOR MY ASS LILA and it is empowered and I am going to send a copy to eve ensler because I think she would want to do a monolg about it. COLOR MY ASS LILA is about a a preeteen super vixen called Sally (me) and like sally hirt her back because she drove her moms car into a wall making a video for blondies SuSie and Jeffrey for a videoo contest and so at 11 59 sally hurts her back and has to see a chiropractir so sally goes to Neww Yirk becau that s where all the sassy back crackers are and like sally meets dr liloswhile she was modeling the stock exchange and dr lilas like “Have you ever heard of a theme park” and I was like “thats where im going stallion” and we made out and like after she exrayed my pelvis and grabbed my hips and made me lay down and it was a nice first date tho I didn’t knowwhy she was asking me about insurince? I mean mood kill right. So me and docter lillla have a secind date and like when I fell ssaleep she touched my bum and stole my lucky baret and and add isult to enjury she had the NERVE to inviter her man pal Jermy Kanye to our date and likeI don’t mind threesonemes because s I am progresive but like he rubed me the wrong way when he was like “kiss it” …rude! Then durct lila said she cant SEE me anymore more because my insurance was denyied like what kind of lame break up excuse it that I mean c’mon. Iwont give away the ending but it involves carrie white like scene at dr lolooks office and jJermy Kanye gets tied to a cross likeJesus except no one gives Jermy Kanye Red bull like Jesus. No redbull=no wings bitch. I am bi sally

Bridges and Mines and Death - Oh My!

2007-08-07T18:21:33Z

like hi blog since there is a heat wave and i have chemically treeated hair i will NOT be outside getting wig welt so like i was in my bedroom trying to figure out WHY i should NOT throw my tv out the wondiw. I havent found a good reason yet only a whole host of reasons why I should. 1. I saw an repeat of avril levine on SNL from i think the other night and i think she gets her songs froms the same lady who writes feriges spelling bee songs writin for the comperhenshin of a 10 year old. 2. the fucking bridge in minisoda! ENOUGH! I swear everuty time something shitty happins to someone now the meadia spins it into a story of 9/11 proportions covering every single possible angle to death! The death toll The survivors The people who witnessed the crash The families of the dead Bridge experts and what THEY think happined People who painted the brigde recently and what they saw Grief counselors for the fish in the river helping them cope with the sky falling 3. Now the mines! Brigdes were SO early this morning. CNN covered a live news confrince in which the ownere of the mine robert murray gave such a slow, overly dramatic speach complete with 10 second moments of silnece in bewteen every sentence while he yelled at the helicopters over head...it was like watching and SNL skit. News angles The minors families - their grief Earthquakes or poor enginerring - you decide Who are these fallen hereos Coal - Slient killer of miminum wage workers The news sucks i cant wait to see what Nacney Grace has to say about this tonight i think i have to send her another pound of raw meet in the mail with a name tag on it that reads "Nancy Grace". I am bi xxx sally

Femenist Art

2007-08-04T04:38:11Z

Abe Linkiln Jefferosn Thom They didnt need The Atomic Bom I am bi

Dr Loila Wasting Away

2007-08-04T01:18:55Z

hi blog so it seems liek thats im not the only one emoshinilly devisteayed that me and dr lila borkeup like one of her crazy friends emailided me this picshure they just took of her the other day and like aparintly her greef is so extremem that she cant bare to pick up a frok and eat and like though she looks like a foxy chiken wing she is too skinny and like i hope she is not taking that key diet to the extreme and i mean it looks like shes cracking her OWN neck like i guess its easier to ajust your spine when you can see it right threw your clothes! i am bi xxx sally

Mary alice Reeturns

2007-07-31T04:29:02Z

like hi blof with all this dr lilla desease and desist restrianing order NONSENCE i almost forget to tell you that i finally found mary alice and like i havent seeen her in months or something and like i thought her chrischin fundamenitlist parints sent her off to jesus camp again like they did last year after she played Teri Shivo in my play The Pashin Of The Shivo but no she achuily was abduckted by her uncle he is like a freak and lives in this creepy house near the woods and like the house has this tunnel sort of maze underneath it like silenice of the lambs and like me and mary aloice snuck down there one day and like he had all these boy scount manikins down there with shitrts on but no pants and cages and lots of dvds and i was this is how he entertains its no wonder he has know friends and like didnt think of it. but mary aloice said that he made her dance for his friends and stuff and he videeio taped it and like they put it on the goggle which is kind of gross and like they made her go on the key diet like dr lila so she is super skinnty thoug not as skinny as me and she said it burns when she pees and i was like isnt it supose too? anyway she looks tweeked so her mom put her to bed three days ago and she is still sleeping so when she walkeds up i will ask her more about her undeground sex work like thats so fucked WHERE IS DATELINE WHEN YOU NEED THEM like they atre wasting their time "capchuring sex offenders" though I gueess if they were REALLT good at their job they wouldnt be catching so many first time offenders...think ABOUT THAT NANCY GRACCCE! LIKE Catie couric says.. PEACCE OUT BITCHES xxx sally

Color My Ass LiLa

2007-07-26T14:23:30Z

hi blog, i am like realiy upset that like dr lilas is still not talking to me she even sent me a retsaint order even though i live in PA NOT NEW YORIK but like this fancy court paper says that she things I am a THREAT and a NUSISINCE and that if she finds anymore baby dolls with nives stuck in their heads outside her office than i will be arestid so like i am writing a new saphroic play about being dumped by dr loila and it will be called COLOR MY ASS LIZA and it will deal with all the motionsial greef and pain that she caused me by breaking up with me even though when she was working o my back she touched my boob once and did i sent her a DESCEST AND DIDSIST letter....NO saly

Americas Extreme Home Makeover

2007-07-24T15:04:45Z

like everyone knows i dont watch tv because i find all of those meninyne hygine product comershils disgustin and like the world doesnt need to constintly be reminded that grrrlz burst once a month and like the guy from south park says "i dont trust anything that bleeds for sevin days and live"...EXACTLY so they make boys think we are untrustwortyh. but I was bored and put on the TV the other night and saw that stupid show with Ty Pembington call AMICAS EXTREEME HOME MAKEOUVER and i cant evin BEGIN to te;; you how offensive i find it...but i'll try! the pretense of the show is that the AEHM team troll the Google and find some poor family that has 12 kids and lives in a mototr oil shantee or like some other family where the mother and father didnt feel like cleaning their house and the TV show, along with a SICKENING AMOUNT OF CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP comes in, send the disempowered family on a cruise while the AEHM knocks down their old roach motel and builds them a new ski resort sized house which the family will never beable to afford to pay the taxes on nevermind the utilitee bills...GREAT PLAN! but thats not even the worse part! SEARS the show is hosted by that sun baked fake model cum carpintar from Trading Spaces Tye Pembington who has all the charm of an 8 year old boy on Red Bull. He cant utter a single word without screaming it and his body constantly writhes and shakes so much that you think cocaine will spinkles out of his ears at some point. HOME DEPOT He is accompanied by a sterile bunch of focus group picked sidekicks to help him build the unfortunate familys a new McMansion: the pretty blonde lady with horsey chicklet vineers, the fruity interior designer who makes everything FABOULUS!!!, the bald Collin Farrell lookalike carpenter… all of whom do an excellent job with there affected speech and crying-on-cue blubbering! LOWES Weekafter week they lift up dirty welcome mats to find the most poorest family in the most poorest towns in America and lay a big slopping bowl of molasses and sprinkled sugar on them telling them that’s ITS OK they had 15 kids and like and like ITS OK their kids had kids and all 35 of them live in one house and have spent beyond their means and now live in emotioshinal and finanshil ruin because in CORPORATE SPONSORED AMERICA, there is no such things as accountability so get on your DISNEY CRUISE and let SEARS, LOWES, HOME DEPOT, FRIGIDAIRE, VIKING, DELL, POTTERY BARN, GE swoop in and make it all better. Insert finger, VOMIT!

Wee Jee Board

2007-07-20T16:21:40Z

like i am confusid and dont now what to do like since dr lila broke up with me i ahve been trying to fgyure out a way to get her back to i bot a wee jee board and thought i would try to chanel the gost of jane mansfeld, you know, mariskas law and orders mother, and like because i thought she was blonde and empowererred and maybe she could help me. but like mary alice started making fun of the bord doing all that lite as a feather stiff as a board faruza balk - the craft shit and like the bored flew across the room and mary alice thought the gosts where mad and i was like no bitch, that we me, your pising me off so i threw MA out and started playing nice with the wee jee bord and like knocked on it and aske if jane was home and like someone invited me in for ice tea but like it tunred out no to be jane but instead it was a bad spirit and it flew out of the bord and into my closit and now i am fucked because i have to get dressed but i cant open the door. so i asked Ribbits if i can borrow some of his paintings to scare the ghosts away i heard that they make great theft deterents so i figured maybe they would scar the afterlife too. please HELP ME I AM BI

Male Bag

2007-07-18T03:48:45Z

hey bloig I have been ignotring you havent i? we;ll my vaginal art show wasa sicuis but thats not why i am riting you tonight like i was just reading som love letter s though my gmail and g stands for grrrrl like tes ligres bikin kill carly simone would say but here are some love notes i thought i wouldshare: On 4/4/07, Nick Drakovich <darkchivo2@hotmail.com> wrote: sally you are nobody's favorite and you are very conceeded .don't you ever talk about DAVEY HAVOK again a lot more people have respect for him then you so keep your fucking mouth shut hey bitch thanks for witting isince you are goggling your life away online looking for davee havik related website let me offer your some condolinsis. i would think with rolling stone and the resirjince of the everthin spin magazine that you would have your fill on a band that really doesnt do that much othir than improve the stock price of wet and wild eyeliner. i mean his body is hot i guess but that drag queen head has to go. its like, why would i make out with my gay uncle from p town? i am bi sally ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On 5/24/07, Nawfal Jules <jules_nawfal@hotmail.com> wrote: hey , my name is jules and i'd love if you told me how , when and where you had sex . could you also send me a pic of you please . 10x . bye hi jules like i have sex all thime usily with the lights off unless theyre on and its only a nightlite in my doll house but thta scares me becaue i feel like my toys will come alive like some scary stemen king novel or that doll from triloge of teroror so whn: alot whre: in the closit pictures: no i am bi ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Susan Walker <cjwalker@insightbb.com> to me show details May 25 Your a real Class Act. Hi! im flattereid whenever i get email from a scullery maid with pecyuliar capiltalization! xxx sally glass ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pat to me show details May 25 Yes, yes, yes!!!! You described that idiot Elisabeth H from The View perfectly...She is beyond stupid...and a no-talent creep!!!! Why is she there???!!! Crazy!! Now that Rosie's gone, I will probably stop watching...I like Joy but without Rosie, Joy will be the voice of sanity crying in the wilderness of stupidity with that moron EH!!! hi sasy lady! Elizabeth Hasselbeck is stupid and talintless. The View ratings have plumited tremenidly since Rosie left it like she maed it relevant timely and worldy and now that shes gone EH just talks about how much she loves the NRA that she felates a gun each night before she goes to bed and prays to Saint Ted Nugent to keep her fetal mishap safe. Joy ROCKS! and she is empowered but the show is like the tonight show minus johnny carson and all thtas left is ed mecman and his PCH envelpoes.though i did love the recint Joan Rivers episode where she was breast feeding a doll on live TV and like most mosthirs got sick of it and ditchid it behind the sofa! now were talking! they need new skinny courtney love back on to shake shit up. peace out1 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anne White <aiw.eew@verizon.net> to me show details May 25 First thing I noticed is how little knowledge you have of basic elementary school spelling and grammar, hence much of what you said is lost to anyone with any intelligence. Try saying it in English. hI cARRY white, first thing i noticed is that your mom locked you in a cloeset because you were advertising the dirty pillows! what puzzles me is that since i am obviously beneath your intelectual standard that you woukd take the 2 minuntes to send me and email spell check it to make sure your smart and send it to me. isnt there likea show on HGTV you should be watching now while the cat is aslep? suck it xxx sally glass ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joni DeLuca <jonideluca@imagelineprod.com> to me show details May 30 If you are going to call someone (Elizabeth) stupid, you need to check the spelling on your web page regarding Rosie and Elizabeth's argument. You too, are not coming across as the brightest crayon in the box! Dear Join! Last i checked is that i didnt have to subscribe to male patrical societys dictionary.com in order to express myself and the fact that you took a few mins out of your empty life to dimiss me proves my messige is coming through loud and clear. xxx sally glass

A Haiku for Dr. Liila

2007-06-19T18:12:35Z

A sassy blonde doctir Sassy until she dates men The scarlet letter end haikyu

Why'd Ya Do It Dr. Lilla

2007-06-12T02:17:04Z

Hi blog, like i am biternss barbie tonight i just found out that dr loila hasnt been responding to my love nots or my invitashins to my bi makeout parteas because she is dating...a guy! like i am so sad it reminds me of that empowered song Marianne Faihfull wrote, this one: Why’d Ya Do It? When I stole a twig from our little nest And gave it to a bird with nothing in her beak, I had my balls and my brains put into a vice And twisted around for a whole fucking week. Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you let that trash Get a hold of your cock, get stoned on my hash ? Whyd ya do it she said, whyd you let her suck your cock ? Oh, do me a favour, dont put me in the dark. Whyd ya do it, she said, theyre mine all your jewels, You just tied me to the mast of the ship of fools. Whyd ya do it, she said, when you know it makes me sore, cause she had cobwebs up her fanny and I believe in giving to the poor. Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you spit on my snatch ? Are we out of love now, is this just a bad patch ? Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ? You drove my ego to a really bad skid. Whyd you do it, she said, aint nothing to laugh, You just tore all our kisses right in half! Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd ya do what you did, Betray my little oyster for such a low bitch. Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ? You drove my ego to a really bad skid. Whyd ya do it, she screamed, after all weve said Every time I see your dick I see her cunt in my bed. The whole room was swirling, Her lips were still curling. Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd ya do it, she said, Whyd you do what you did ? Oh, big grey mother, I love you forever With your barbed wire pussy and your good and bad weather. Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ... i am bi and now single xxx sally

Mary ALice the Invisible

2007-06-11T14:22:20Z

hi blog, like i have still not heard or seen of mary alice and i am like starting to get worried i had my witchy mother drive me over to her house to expliain to Mary Aloices christian fundamentalist parints that 1. i am not a whore and 2. i will not be the devils playtoy for getting prgnint at 15 and 3. I DONT KNOW WHERE FUCKING MARY ALOICE IS AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER DISAPIRINCE...this time...for fucks sake. after they prayid for our sins me and my mother left and she said now she sees why mary alice is so f'd up and i was like yeah! what do you expect from the Elizabeth Hasselbeck fan club presidents? so we went over to mary alices funny uncles house the one that used to make all of those undergrund films of me and and mary alice dancing in his basement and like his sister anwird the door and was being shady and said he wasnt home but I knew he was because he never goes out so i forcid myway into the house and he was laying on his bed with a t shirt over his face and i was like 'where's mary alice' and he didnt say anything. his sister grabbed me and pulled meout of the room and said not to bother him because he was 'playing ostridge'. creepy! so i sat on the couch telling her that mary aloice was missing and like her funny uncle would run from one door way to the other caover most of his face except his eyes and it spooked me so we left amd we still dont know where mary alice is. so i was on myspace the other day and like i found sassy crotneys home page and like i sent her a freind request but she probabliyly wont except it because i fell on her at that book signing when i pulled my dress over my head and askid her to sign my empowird stomach and like her new album isnt coming out until winter and i cant wait that long. is this some sort of bad carma? no mary alice? no knew crotney music? what the f. i think ill right dr. lila a bi love letter. xxx sally

Courtney Love - Nobody's Daughter / PCH

2007-06-08T14:18:45Z

hi blog like i just got a bilituon on myspace and this sassy guy posted these new videos of Crotney from last week and she looks so sassy she must be on the key diet too ! look i am bi xx sally glass Pacific Coast Highway Another Highway Nobodies Daughetr Sunset Maqkey