Sally Glass - America's Favorite Pregnant Preteen!

like hi bulitin like you wont beleeve this!

so after dr lilllaa dumpss me for...a boy...ha! and like then she has the nerve to get a restrayning order on me when i try to patch things up by calling her every 20 minutes and IMing her all the time but like this takes the caike!

one of dr liloos friends payed trubute to me saturday by painting an enourmous painting of me in a park filled with drunks and drug addicts...and dr l and Jermy Kanye go and have some sort of hipster picknic in front of it! how dare she mock my anguish? just wait until I am done with COLOR MY ASS LIL!A

like hi blog i was just checking my my space acount and like i am pissed because like courtney love defreiend me and even thoug i kno eits not her that realy runs her account i am pissed because some self entitled fruitopian named 'boulevardier' is in carge of her accoutn which means whens hes in a bad mood and his rufus wainright CD skips he starts editing crotney fan page and that sucks.

that sad part is that he posts so many random thought about his lame lif e and being suesd by a colledge and stuff like.. just because courtney is crazy nd likes dramam and attenthion, jusyt because you make your own drama...it doesnt mean youre interesting....

i am bi

hi blog,

i am like realiy upset that like dr lilas is still not talking to me she even sent me a retsaint order even though i live in PA NOT NEW YORIK but like this fancy court paper says that she things I am a THREAT and a NUSISINCE and that if she finds anymore baby dolls with nives stuck in their heads outside her office than i will be arestid

so like i am writing a new saphroic play about being dumped by dr loila and it will be called COLOR MY ASS LIZA and it will deal with all the motionsial greef and pain that she caused me by breaking up with me even though when she was working o my back she touched my boob once and did i sent her a DESCEST AND DIDSIST letter....NO

saly

like everyone knows i dont watch tv because i find all of those meninyne hygine product comershils disgustin and like the world doesnt need to constintly be reminded that grrrlz burst once a month and like the guy from south park says "i dont trust anything that bleeds for sevin days and live"...EXACTLY so they make boys think we are untrustwortyh.

but I was bored and put on the TV the other night and saw that stupid show with Ty Pembington call AMICAS EXTREEME HOME MAKEOUVER and i cant evin BEGIN to te;; you how offensive i find it...but i'll try!

the pretense of the show is that the AEHM team troll the Google and find some poor family that has 12 kids and lives in a mototr oil shantee or like some other family where the mother and father didnt feel like cleaning their house and the TV show, along with a SICKENING AMOUNT OF CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP comes in, send the disempowered family on a cruise while the AEHM knocks down their old roach motel and builds them a new ski resort sized house which the family will never beable to afford to pay the taxes on nevermind the utilitee bills...GREAT PLAN!

but thats not even the worse part! SEARS the show is hosted by that sun baked fake model cum carpintar from Trading Spaces Tye Pembington who has all the charm of an 8 year old boy on Red Bull. He cant utter a single word without screaming it and his body constantly writhes and shakes so much that you think cocaine will spinkles out of his ears at some point.

HOME DEPOT He is accompanied by a sterile bunch of focus group picked sidekicks to help him build the unfortunate familys a new McMansion: the pretty blonde lady with horsey chicklet vineers, the fruity interior designer who makes everything FABOULUS!!!, the bald Collin Farrell lookalike carpenter… all of whom do an excellent job with there affected speech and crying-on-cue blubbering!

LOWES Weekafter week they lift up dirty welcome mats to find the most poorest family in the most poorest towns in America and lay a big slopping bowl of molasses and sprinkled sugar on them telling them that’s ITS OK they had 15 kids and like and like ITS OK their kids had kids and all 35 of them live in one house and have spent beyond their means and now live in emotioshinal and finanshil ruin because in CORPORATE SPONSORED AMERICA, there is no such things as accountability so get on your DISNEY CRUISE and let SEARS, LOWES, HOME DEPOT, FRIGIDAIRE, VIKING, DELL, POTTERY BARN, GE swoop in and make it all better.

Insert finger, VOMIT!

Hi blog,

like i am biternss barbie tonight i just found out that dr loila hasnt been responding to my love nots or my invitashins to my bi makeout parteas because she is dating...a guy! like i am so sad it reminds me of that empowered song Marianne Faihfull wrote, this one:

Why’d Ya Do It?

When I stole a twig from our little nest
And gave it to a bird with nothing in her beak,
I had my balls and my brains put into a vice
And twisted around for a whole fucking week.
Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you let that trash
Get a hold of your cock, get stoned on my hash ?

Whyd ya do it she said, whyd you let her suck your cock ?
Oh, do me a favour, dont put me in the dark.
Whyd ya do it, she said, theyre mine all your jewels,
You just tied me to the mast of the ship of fools.

Whyd ya do it, she said, when you know it makes me sore,
cause she had cobwebs up her fanny and I believe in giving to the poor.
Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you spit on my snatch ?
Are we out of love now, is this just a bad patch ?

Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ?
You drove my ego to a really bad skid.

Whyd you do it, she said, aint nothing to laugh,
You just tore all our kisses right in half!

Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd ya do what you did,
Betray my little oyster for such a low bitch.

Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ?
You drove my ego to a really bad skid.

Whyd ya do it, she screamed, after all weve said
Every time I see your dick I see her cunt in my bed.

The whole room was swirling,
Her lips were still curling.

Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did
Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did
Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd ya do it, she said,
Whyd you do what you did ?

Oh, big grey mother, I love you forever
With your barbed wire pussy and your good and bad weather.
Whyd ya do it, she said, whyd you do what you did ...

i am bi and now single

xxx

sally

good mroing blog

like i was just waking up and was waching the new Gwen Stefani video for the Sweet Escape or some shit like that...what is wrong with her???

when she was in no doubt her songs sonded like...real songs, not lots of dippy samples strung together like a tight sweater. she makes no sense. and am i the only one who noticed that this sweetest thing song sounds alot like Madoinas True Blue? and how rude of GS not to have the scrupulusly plucked Debbie Mazar in the remake of True Blue...

i have to find my keys and make some drawings about all of thise disempowerment....

xoxo

sally glass

like I am on a roll tonight bulitin my key diet has me extra peppy.

so i was just over on the rigot grrrl site and i was telling those bitches how much i hate avril levine and that as much as she would like to play dress up in hot topic she is about as punk as a william Sonoma catalogue and i hate her. i mean can she really get the Cristina Aquiliauqailia hair extenshins, have some swank photog shoot her wedding, run the lame pictures in Vantee Fair and still pretend that 1. she rocks 2. anyone cares and 3. she's punk??

and her twink tastic husband? puh-lease! before i lost mary alice her fruity brother craig was showing us some indy porn of him and the other twinks having a snake jamboree and then it became clear as to why he was covering Micheal Jakson songs. see, its all clear now!

BUT BACK TO DUMBASS, oops caps, i am sick of seeing her stare back at me from all these myspace ads with those black eyes that look like shes staring though a charred log i mean edie sejwick did that look first 70 years ago and she did it way better than fuciking bitterness barbie here.

ugh

wheres my key

xxx

sally glass

like what up blog,

i threw out my tv today because I am SO fucking sick of not only hearing bout Paris Hilton going to jail but i am so sick of heering credable journalists talking about her and what her prison life is like. you know what! its hard out there for a pimp...and its worse for a ho.

as you can tel i have NO sympathee for Hilton she is a reofending drunk driver, she calls people faggots and niggers and makes fun of grrrlz for going to public school. whats even worse is that she attracts equially vile people like that fat bloated coke bastard oil heir Brandon Davis or whatever his name is who called Linsday Lohan firecrotch. Im sorry but when you are 20 something years old and cant conrtol your sweat becasue your veins are clogged with crack rocks you have no right to make fun of people...even Linsday Lohan who alost qulifies as a person.

i am sick of all these celebutards like Brinttey Spears, Linsday Lohan, the Olsen Monkeys, Paris and Nicole....who have no descernable talent other than slipping in a puddle of their own vomit while getting out of their own limo.

this is al Madonna's fault, she was a bad mom to these girls. back in the 80s, 1,400 years ago Madonna was always doing stupid shit but claimed their was artistic integrity behind it like when she cavorted with her tranny pals in that french hotel and made that dominatrix boobie video that MTV hated or when she went down to mississpipissi and lit those crosses on fire on the lawns of black people. she said she was just trying to give them light since they couldnt aford electricity but like she knew she would attract headlines. and like she meant well and i suppose if you look hard she has talent but these new celebutards grew up watching mamma and figured why bother doing the art / humanitatien work when we can just cut to the chase and show our cooch in public to be famous.

the whole lot of them make me sick which is why i threw out my tv and i should have sold it on ebay because it was shapped like hello kittys head and that was sassy but if that kitty only KNEW what was coming out of her mouth she would throw herself out too.

xxx

sally

hi bullitin,

like i nevrr undrstand why you dont write me bak on here like its not like i dont give you plenty of attenshin for fucks sake.

so i cant find mary alice anywhere and its starting to freak me out i told her about that praty i went to in LA where drew barrismore threw this fake 80s prom and like Courtney and the Olson Monkeys and Amy Winebox were there and like i kept losing them because they are so skinny that if they walk behind a tree or some other thin objeckt like they totally disapear and i was telling dr lila all of this until she rudely deltd my comints excuse you rude!

so i came back and was telling mary alicehow i threw mary kare olsins purse in th pool when she randomly fell asleep and the whole purse started to foam and smoke like some ill fatid scince project and like mary aloice was like well how do they get skinny and i told her that like everyone was smoking and chuggin redbulls and vodka and though they were skiny their faces were reelly haggard with smoke line and like in desprit need of moistuizer .

so mary alice stopped easting and startid smoking and drinking redbull and sure enough after like a few weeks she started getting super skinny bu of course not as skinny as me because no one is that sassy not even rude dr lilla and her sassy white hair. and now I cant find mary alice i checkd behind all of the ress out back and behind the rakes in the tool shed and behind the praying mantis in the gardin and i dont see here and of course her chirstian fundamental elizabeth hasselbeck loving parent are all like Sally wht did you do to our daughter now!

so after i explained that i was not the one who told mary alioice to make underground movies with her funny uncle and i was not that one who told mary aloice about the street walking diet that she was empowered and did those things on her own terms because thats is like what being epomwered is all about.

but they werent buying it and were still like wheres my daughter and i was like I DONT KNOW DID YOU SEND HER TO FUCKING JESIS CAMP AGAIN??? and they tried to make me atone and startid shoving me into the Carrie closit and I was like fuck that shit bitchs! and ran out and now so here i am trying to see if mary alice is online or something in one of her emo grrrl i cut myself websites and i dont see her so like madoinna, i dont know what to do. please help i am bi.

xxx

sally

eps

i forgot the to mention that some boy in rehab started telling me his gitlfriend is a vixen too but by vixen he meant she wore aberocombie and fatch clothing and sucked of his buddies and i was like thats not being a vixen thats being a whore.

like hi blog

did you just hear that loud cliking noise? that was the colectiv sound of everyone in america changing the chanele now that Rosie is not on the View anymore. like its back to conversashins about pet dogs and elizabeths lonly tea parties in the park with her offspring and barbra walters will think shes adding 'edge' to the show when she says the word boob. like now america can go back to pretending there is no war and elizabeth can carry on about how great bush is and all the war really needs is a little more time.

tv sucks

like hi blog eben though this post about American idol is all about boys I am STILL catrogonizing it under 'Disempowered Bitches' because this season of amrican idol guys sucks. Last season they sort of sucked too but Ace was cute and made a nice fuck buddy for Ryan Seacrest and the Doughtery guy had a good voice I guess.

I think Randy and Simon were drinking from Paula's cup this year during Hollywood week because these guys are such dorks and I am their demographic! They are like singing songs that either I have never heard or songs that I have only heard while in the dentist office. Here are the guys and why I think they suck:

1. Blake Lewis - Like I dont like him because you know he spends more time affecting his manerisms and that tired, tired, tired, faux hawk than he does on his songs. Like he knows he is cute and actes like he knows he is cute which is a turnoff to everyone but Ryan Seacrest who waits patiently outside his dresssing room hoping to catch a peek of him without his shirt on or casually rub his crotch up against him like he used to do to Ace.

2. Brandon Rogers - I liked him beter as Tony Sinclair in those Tankeray commericla.s

3. Chris Richardson - His name bores me.

4. Chris Sligh - Even though he looks like the bastard love child between sideshow bob and Jack Osbourne I kind of like him because he is funny and he has a voice and his girlfriend is preety and she's bi.

5. Jared Cotter - I dont like him but like he will probably get a record deal and again I will get a chance to hear all those songs again in the dentists but on the plus side that made me stop eatingsugar.

6. Nicholas Pedro - From Massachusits...like do I need to say more? Mass-hole!

7. Paul Kim - Should have kept his house boy slippers on and layed off the Gerorge Michael I mean cmon, why are you singing songs by someone who keeps getting busted for sucking off guys in the bathroom and smoking pot? Its like doing a Avril Lavigne song and wondering why all the grrrlz in the audience hate you.

8. Phil Stacey - zzzz

9. Rudy Cardenas - Was voted off to quick to make in ampression...thank god.

10. Sanjaya Malakar - Like this kid should be kept waaaay in the back of Michael Jackson's closet where he belongs for fucks sake! Each week he gets more and more whistful and it drives me crazy but i THInk this week he'll be making the magic carpet ride back to the falafel cart.

11. Sundance Head - Sounds like a porn name

I cant wait for when they do Nirvanan week and we get to watch Courtney Love and Paula Abdul play drinking games. How emepowered.

hi bliog,

like yay for Rosie! She bitch slapped stupid Elisabeth Hasselbeck AKA The Blonde Al Qaeda today on the view. First Elisabeth was carrying on about Al Gore's electricity bill because it is over $2,000. a month but the dumb whore failed to mention that AG gets his power from green sources then she goes on to say she doesnt care if Bush listens to her boring phone conversations about the nuva ring because the patriot act is just fine with her. then rosie said she doesnt know any better because she is so young. all this after Joy grilled the witch on how she could still stay faithful to the bush adminstration after all the lying about the war they have done including this new report that the depratment of defencse didnt want the media to discuss the soldires coming back from the war.

elisabeth Hasselebck is SUCH a fucking moron why is she aloowed to stay on that show? someone should send HER to Iraque.

i am bi

like hi blog

like i have no bin writing for while because I have been busy painting a lot of paintings for my upcoming art shos called 'Fetal Attraction' whcih will be sassy and I will post some pics later when I find my scaner.

i was just watching The View i tivo from this morning and lame Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the self proclaimed fashionista, had on this freakish pink dress that even Baby Jane Hudson would have passed on because it made her look like a maternity pixie on crack. I think she got hair extentions too because when the View started this season she had this weird lesbian haircut that I think Rosie talked her into knowing she would look like a moron and she did. Good one Rosie!

Anyway she confessed that as a kid she used to sneak out her bedroom window at night to give her high school football team BJs! ewww! No wonder she married Tim Hasselbeck that football player! Like that must be the secret to their marriage is keeping her annoying mouth stuffed so that hyper shrill voice can't escape!

then her dad called in and scolded her but said it was ok she was a slut because giving BJs isnt that bad because you cant get pregnint so long as she used her dental damn...and I thought MY parents were embarrasing!

suck on worst dressed grrrlz, suck on

xxx

sally glass

ps

you know you can send me all the hate maile you want about my bad spelling but like if Rosie can bastardise the english language on her blog, why cant i. she is a femenist too because she doesnt cave in to the patrical socienty and their stupid pelling rules.

like hi blog

i just got my newest copy of Rolling Stone and i have not been this mentily traumatized since i read Susan Faluids Backlash! all these old 20 something year old guys in guyliner! uugh! my chemical romance, the killers, deathcab at the disco, and my least favorite simulated tranny daAvey Havok and his priscilla queen of the dessert shctick and his band, what are they called, oh, AFI... A Fruity Insurgence.

I find this whole movement of fake bi guys totily insulting to young empowered women because you kno that none of this is genuiune... just the by product of some frutopian stylist mega queens probibly from the Jancey Dickens Modil Agensee and they making these guys look like fem bots so they can get laid. its really disgusting especially when the posing looks like it took more time than the music making. now that i think about it stylists ruin everything like they are responsible for putting Crotney Love in shrugs during here Celebocity Skin days and more importantly they have flaunted so many shiney outfits and acessories in front of Gewn Steffanni that she has forgot what real music even sounds like anymore so she sits in the studio channeling the singer of Missing Persons to tell her what retarded outfit to put on next!.

i swear if courtney doesnt get off the john soon and get back to making music i am going to hang myself with a white faux leather stuudded belt from hot topic

Dear BLOG

I had Mary ALoice come over after shool today to take that new online hackers course i sined up for and since we both lost our liters we dicided to make smores on the gas stove in the kitchen and we were like horified because we found a pube on the stove.

seriously blog despite the numbirs on iraQ i know my parents to this day are still pro bush but cmon....i make mac and CHEESE there!!!! Im going to writew a letter to KRAFT!

hi blog

i was reading online today that Lindsay Lohan is asking Al Gore to help her get conrtol of her public image and im confused. if he won the presdencey and still couldint manage to get to be president what hope is there of him keeping her out of page six???

if she was smart she should be in cahoots with his bitch wife Tipper Gore because she could lend Linsay some of her cencored black boxes left over from the 80s that Linsday could use to cover her crotch. doesnt that make more sense?

love you mean it

sally glass

deer blog

i am like so upset like i was just reading new YOrk post online and today they had Britney Spears, Linsday Lohan and Paris Hilton on the cover and like they were off to the Bimbo Summit and like I am SO pissed I wasnt not invited.

I mean im pregnant, i smoke, i flashed Courtney Love like then FELL on her and I am blonde...what gives...oh and I am bi. Maybe I need to be more quotable like Brittney "I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt" or Linsee "like Yeah, motherfucker, I’m fine" and Parass "OK"... and I was planing on having a good week too.

hi blog

i am thank god school is almost out for the day but it sucks cause me and mary Alice have detenshin again for torturing Troll because she is such a reatard.

Me and Mary Alice were in psychologee class MINDING OUR OWN BUSNESS when dumb Troll comes in weering a Britney Spears T shirt and like we just started laughing because...like its Britney Sspears! like Brotney used to be kind of sassy but now she's a fat breeding machine who sucks dicks on the internet thanks to her greasy cracka husband who put all their porno online.

so anyway me and Mary Alice couldntstop laughing and the tacher mister foley was like 'ok bitches knock it off' and we were like 'but mr folee her shirt is disruptive to the learning process' and like the whole class started laughing. Troll like turned three shades of red and ran out of the class and like when she came back she had her shirt turned inside out and she wrote "Ashlee Simpson Rocks" on it. so of course we laughed even harder because Ashlee Simpson is about as cool as floss even if she lets her fans decide what plastic sugury she should havedone on her face.

Mr foley was like 'OK you two detenshin' and like Troll didnt get detenshin and the whole damn thing was her fault so like me and mAry Alice are going to go home and print up flyers for a fake restaurant called The House Of Nuggets and put her phone number on it. that will teach her to be so lame!

i am bi

xoxo sally glass

and PS I can't sign my name "xxx sally glass" anymore because child molesters are typing things like "preteen porn, xxx" and are finding my blog and that is disgudting so i am going to post their IP addresses online later. ass bandits!

like hi blog

I just saw the most horific thing on TV next to all that BS in Iraq! I snuck into my granndmothers house to steal some more of her prescrishins and like she was fast asleep so i scored. But like jeopardy that old show for old people was on TV and to my horor Nacy Grace and Carson Kressley were both on the show...at the same time! What are the prodicuers trying to do...scare the audeince gay than back to straight again???

Like nancy didnt verbaly abuse anyone but she did of course take the time to plug both her shows on CNN and COURTV and Al Jazeera and like oddly enough nobody menshined how she drove Melinda Duckett to suicide by badgering her to death on the air....probably because she threatened to put on even more eye makeup and speak more affected.

like hi blog,

i am sorry i have not writtin to you in a few days i spray painted my bedroomm silver because i thought i would make my own sassy factory like andy warhol but instead i got chrome dust chips on everything so my pareints had to have my room profeshinaly cleened and like i had to throw out all my Courtney Love posters. How disempowered!

I was watching law & order resently and like still no mariska! BUT the powers that be did like make me happy when they named one of there special victims Elizabeth Hassenback which sounds a lot like Elisabeth Hasselbeck AKA The Blonde Al Qaeda from The View. She saw the law and order too and then she went on the View with her chicken feathers all ruffled because they used her name. Maybe if she wasnt such a right winged religious fundamentalist cunt who force feeds her bullshit to the viewing awdience people wouldnt want to make her a victim on TV.

Like you know how they say all child molstirs dont have humps on their back and broken teeth and stuff. Well not all people with flippy hair and perky voices and cordinated hippy disco clown outfits are good...some are inherintlee evil like Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Jerry Farlweel and all the rest of them that preach hate with a smile. People like that shouldnt be on TV...unless they have a toe tag on. clang clang!

So like since Rosie sided with Elisabeth for some reason (you know Rosie has a stockpile of Elisabeth-look-a-like Barie dolls that she burns one at a time in her fire place each night) and suggested people Google Law and Order producers like I thought I woud do some Gogling myself and I have like compiled an empowered list of reasons to hate The Blonde Al Qaeda!

like hi blog,

i have an extra study period now in the morning because like i didnt want to be in gym. Stupid school kept trying to force me to take gym but like it takes me all morning to get my hair all sassy and dishovled like Courntey Love and I am NOT about to sweat it all out with some stupid boys under the rule of a maniackle lesbian gym teacher. they tried to make me play volee ball and i dont know how so when they hit the ball at me i took it and ran to the door and thrw it down the hallway. no more gym!

so like on my nevir ending quest to get gun crazy Elisabeth Hasselbeck off TV for good (no more the view, no more "style" network, no more vaginal wipes commershils...) i found this empowered site that is like taking bets as to when Rosie and Brabra Waltirs will finally have a momint of clarity and fire her.

like hi blog,

i am like so sick of seeing grrrlz my age on myspcace portraying themselves as total whores like just because you have a poor quality dijital camera and a cable connection doesnt meen you should be posting pictures of your georga okeefe online for the world to see! nevermind the fact they are contibuting to child pornographer preditors .

but like dont these dispemowerd bitches realize that once you put something online it lives forever? for example noone will ever hire my for my typing skills after reading my blog...

being a fake porn star is over ratied i am bi

xxx

sally glass with clothes on

Hi Blog,

I have had disempowering writters cramp the passt few days so like thats why i havenit given you the time of day.

You know what? i dont think i like queen latifa. Sure she hawks her maybaleen makeup and tries to make us think that like being obese, oh sorry, 'large and in charge' is healthy and she pretends shes a positive rollmodel but then she fucking is always getting arested for driving while stoned or drunk and selling all that shitty dominos pizza. i mean cheese filled crust, cina-balls with dipping sauce, meet lovers pizza and now pizza with lasagne topping???

Why doesnt she just come out and say, "young bitchis, spend all your money on the shitty food i sell and whatever money you have left over, go buy diet pills and Covergrrrl and attempt live up to my fake, magazine cover, airbrushed fat ass image!"

It's no wonder Allopeesha can't get out of the ghetto...she's broke from buying circus food!

i am bi...and fucking skinny because i dont eat shit

xxx sally

The blonde al queda is at it again!

I was watching sassy Sandra Bernhard on the View and not only did creepy Star Jones give her shit for making fun of Pariah Carey going nuts but like then Sandra said she thinks laura Bush is medicated and BAM! The blonde religious extreemest is off an running! She like launches into another one of her monologues about the sacred fetus and preshis life and blah blah blah.

Like the idea of the view is sassy, like get a semi retired hen, a nubian lizard, a yenta from Queens and a blonde religous extreemist together to talk about like world stuff so people can understand different points of view but like all that goes down the tubes when the jihadist loses all self control and like jams her narrow minded christin beleefs down your throat until she turns bright red and like every vein in her neck is throbbing and she finally passes out... feathers everywhere!!! Shes the fetus that Bill O'Reilly SHOULD have terminatid!

Seriously blog just wait because Elisabeth Hasselbeck is one "Plan B" conversation away from making a martyrdom tape!

Like Blog,

What the f' is up with Britney Speers these days? Like I think she has lost parshil control over her brain due to that tight red Kablahblah string that like stupid madonna tied around her neck. I found this videeoe of Britknee on boobtube and like she is either drunk or stoned or dumb. hopefilly she wont try to make movies like Madonna because if Britt cant even play herself in a homemovie than we can be shure she is planning to star in the seaquill of Swept Away.

xxx

sally glass

Hi Blog,

Like after watching The View this morning I decided that like the best thing for me to do would be to chew the cast off my leg so I can escape the perrils of netwirk televishin in paticuler morning television I meen Tony Danzig, c'mon.

But Barbra Waters and club chicken are just too much too take so earlee in the moring without cofee. Barbira made the mistake of talking about the Plan B pill in front of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and that sent the blonde al qaeda off on a tangent about rape, insects, and the exact moment when a life begins and the whole time all i could think of is how i would like to end HER life! Like does the relijous extreemist not know that there are plenty of kids waiting in kennels to be adopted? She obvioulsy never sat next to a kid in a restaurant before THATS for sure! She lost her lastt shred of dignity when like Barba W reached over and bitch slapped her right in front of Lisa Lobes WHO was wearing a meternity dress like talk about mixed signils!

i am bi xxx sally glass

like der blog,

like why didnt i think of this before !when my leg is al better i need to get kidnapped so i can go on nacy graces sshow so i can fuck with her like elizabeth smart! like i read online that exliabith got kidnapped on porpus so she could go on nancys show and throw her shade like how empowered! i am bi so wache:

xxx sally glass

hi bloggg,

so like i found some old pain pills my doctir gave me stashed away in my hello kitty perse so i took a bunch yestirday afternoon and slept until like 5 this morning and like i feel relly good now!

like i finally got a chanse to watch the new epasodes of the simple life that i have been teevohohing and like this new seesin totally sucks. like i guess paris and nicole arent friends anymore because paris is a cokewhore and like nicole has had some ireversable stomach stapling surjiry so nicole cant gain weight and has to work at a nutrishinist so like she cant party with paris so paris dumped her. just as well beecause all paris does is get drunk with her boyfriend who looks like a bloated floating corpse and they call linsee lohan 'fire crotch' on TV...nicol...your not missing much.

so since the bitches arent friends they have to film all their scenes sepritely and like it s not as funny plus the whole thing has become a formyula like you know paris is going to look bored and like nicole blurts out something about handjobs and tinkerboots ran away i think...lucky her.

so now i need a new fav show to watch. i try to wach cnn sometimes so i can know what shit is going down around the world but the news people are all so fat and ugly.

i ma bi

xxx sally glass

hi thre blog,

like i was watching empowered brittney speers last night on tv being intervieewed by that balding good morning man and like she is the new crotney love like she is puffy, has bad bleached hair, chunks of mascarra falling off her eyes, crys a lot on tv, weers babydoll dreses and takes horrible care of her baby. how sassy!

its too bad she like keeps getting knockd up by that highschool janiter.

i am bi

Hiblog,

like so i desidid that like im am gong to spend the daytoday downlodeing music online and like before you like get on your hi horsse about how its bad and you are stealing money from the artists let me say like that like the its the record compinys fault because they have comodifyed music so much by making it esily availabile on your cell phone, your plam plot, your mp3 player, your microwave that people dont apreciate the value anymore its like what does sally want for lunch, hmm a veggie burger oh and give me some gwen stefanni with my order, i mean missing persons, i mean i cant tell them apart like the name brand kechip and the store brand ketchip. it's all sodium anyway.

so like i just donsloded esther's Immaculit Box because its so retro and like i just realised i was a fetus when it came out but like its sassy even if it is so old and like the sassiest song on the is Voge and esther is like it doesn't matter if youre a sassy tranny hooker or a jersey girl because on the dancefloor you can be both, like mariah carey.

xxx i am bi
sally glass

like dear dirty,

is it really me you ask? well its like not jt leroy and who knows who that is like oh i do i have been on my blakberty all day surfing the web during my inhous detention and like it turns out the like my fav writter is fake.

so grown up jt wrote all these books about his gay sex sheninigans and jackalope and like he wouldnt talk to people so he hid in the closet cause he had aids and poor him his olny friends were ssassy shirley manson, carrie fisher and courtney love and like the only time this poor recluse would go out was like to swank partyies dressed in over sized liz claiborned clothing and get everything for free. like life sucks.

so it turns out the jt is a figment of some lady larua bush and like one of her husbands step kids named savanah knoop is the person in the wigs and sunglasses though we thought for sure it was jenna i am bi

xxx sally glass

dear dairy,

did you see marih carey last night on dick clark what a heffer! did like someone offer her the diet plan kristy alley used to be on??? its no wonder it was in like time square those are the only monitors in the world shed fit on!!!!

poor pariah she used to be known for her high octain voice then she was known for being Tommy Motorola's bitch and then she made Litter and wass known for nothing.

now shes just looking like a wildabeasst. i wonder if she snacks from one of those jars that despense feed for a quarter i am bi

xxx sassy skinny sally