Sally Glass - America's Favorite Pregnant Preteen!

hi blog so it seems liek thats im not the only one emoshinilly devisteayed that me and dr lila borkeup like one of her crazy friends emailided me this picshure they just took of her the other day and like aparintly her greef is so extremem that she cant bare to pick up a frok and eat and like though she looks like a foxy chiken wing she is too skinny and like i hope she is not taking that key diet to the extreme and i mean it looks like shes cracking her OWN neck like i guess its easier to ajust your spine when you can see it right threw your clothes!

i am bi

xxx
sally

like hi blog

did you like my sassy compisishin of course you do who doesnt love fetus siameese twins right? so spoking of the fantasticle festus i went to the Bodies exhibit this weekend in Pittsburhg and I can tell why they call it Pittsburg.

the exhibit was sort of cool, like a walking tour through Jefferey Dahmers snack buffet and i learned two things 1 i need to quit smoking because gray lungs are SO disempowered and i dont want that and even Courtney is on the news because she is quitting smoking because they found a pollock in her throat and 2 a pet fetus is way more fun than a pet rock.

see after they show you dead body dead body dead body for two hours i found this sign that said 'if sassy little fetuses in jars freak you out dont go in this room' so like alice at wonderland i dove through the door and there were sassy fetusts everywhere and like all those pro life propaganda people you see online are so full of shit. they have these posters of like, a two year old covered in blood crying and they are impying that that two year old is an eight week fetus well let me tell you i SAW an 8 week fetus and it looks like planters Mr Peanut minus the monocle and spats and walking stick. if someone suckid it out of you you probaibly wouldnt even notice so pro life people...stop your lies!

of course i was the only one in the fantasticle fetus room and since no one was looking i took this jarred fetus i named her Francis after Cournteys daughter Francis Bacon and now it is sitting on my desk as a paper wait making sure my love notes dont fly away in a brisk breeze.

sally

like dr lila is pissed whwn she cant find her drink tikits

Like hi blituin.

I am like sure you have hread by now that sassy Anna Nicole Smith is dead and like I think it totally sucks. Its too bad that her fake husband and part time laywer Howard K Stern killed her son with methadone, but like he get anna hooked on it too, and she dies, and he’s walking around a free man??? And like why did the nurse wait so long before she called 911…I mean when you find someone blue and choking on vomit, isn’t that a pretty good indicashin she needs fucking medical assistance?

What I don’t understand is that like if god is going to take a celebrity, why couldn’t he have taking Paris Hilton…or any of her equailly vile cohorts??? I mean she runs around calling people faggots and niggers and god takes anna? I am hoping that he is taking his sweet time with Paris because he has something really good cooking for her.

I am sad and bi

Xxx sally

Deer Blog,

Like Mary Alice found a video of Orphans by Teenage Jesus and the Jerks aka Lydia Lunch on boobtube and like its so scary she has more problims than christ on good friday and all men think theyre christ!

Yikes shes bat shit!

xxx

Sally Glass

Like Hi Deaer Driary!

Like I just saw the sassy new video by the Dixie Chocks and like it was directed by Sophie Mueller who did Hole's Miss World video. I read on Wikipikipedia that when SM isn't making cool videos for empowered womein she sells her own line of Elbow Macaroni like I saw it in the store and bought some and you know it wasn't that bad!

Country Music sucks because, well, its made by peeople who live in the country and like what could you possibly have to sing about when you milk goats and pluck chicksins for a living??? But the DCs are cool because they went on tour and said how embraced they were by the fraternity President because of the mess he created in I-Raq. Then they got death threats and hate mail and like I don't understand why I meen the presidnet is a military doging coke head who started a real war with fake reasons I meen, write HIM hate mail but like that gets back to my point about how people who live in the country are all stupid because what can you learn from a chicken and a pig???

And like the Dixies Chicks are more empowered than Madonna because Madonna made a sassy video for American Wife and in it she threw handgrenades at Bush while he frenched Saddaam Hhuusseeiinn but then Madonna saw what happened to DC and like changed her video to this lame version where she dressid up like marlenea Deittricht for the 4,391st time and brooded in front of 101 wavey flags. zzz I liked Madonna better when she was stradling burning crosses and making out with black Jesus.

xxx

Sally Glass

dear diaree,

so like mary alice was like assking me who my favoite grrrl bands and like old man admireres i have so many so i narowid it down to like my top 5 bitches that rock.

1. katheline hanna / bakini kill

like bikine kill started the riot grrrl revolushin sometime in the early 90's or something but like i wasnt even born yet so theyre retro or old. Bikini Kill are from olympia, seattle and like that is the home of grunge, starbucks chain stores and heroin. they got there name because the singer had a bikini fetish and like only wore bikinin underwear even in the winter what a weirdo...

bikine kills lead singer tobi started the band after her attempt at fanzine publishing never caught on and its not because she didn't give it her best it was because she wrote the whole thing in crayon and it was like to hard to read. dummy.

bikine kill proves that you don't need any musical experience, training, vocal range, or even talent for that matter to be empowered and inspiring. they have united grrrlz around the globe and encouriged them to put down dolls, pick up guitars and pull their dresses over their head while screaming rape.

2. Theos Kogan / Lunachiks

Light as a feather stiff as a board! Like the Lunachicks could kick L7's ass anyday...and like just about anyones ass now that i think about it.

They are like from new york city and stuff and they are super punk rock. they mix and mingle with the toilet boys, (another sassy band from new york with a super vixen grrrl singer Miss Guy), make underground films and sometimes theo gets naughty in jersey hotels with her boyfriend and takes a camera crew with them!

All of Lunachicks songs are under 4 minutes and like that is cool because my attention span is just about the same. My favorite song is "light AS A Feather" and like we think it is about that stupid movie "The Craft" with Nimbus Cambell where they put on too much black makeup and think that makes them witches. Please. So does that make me Mathew Perry when i steal prescriptions?

3. Tori Amus

Tori Amos is sorta intense and stuff and like she doesn't even play guitar she plays both the piano and other grrrlz to so i think she is bi like me and mary alic.

toris writhes around on her piano bench singing about cornflakes and throwing stupid boys into volcanos. What a sassy job! Plus she smacked John Norris from Mtv one night cause he said that Madonna was cooler then she was and she call him a sod and they started wrestling. something similar happed with bijork once too but it was in an airport and John Norris wasn't there.

although tori really doesn't fall under the rigot grrrl catagory she is a cool artist and stuff even if her hair is not real. iam just like glad that she is not on 90210 and stuff anymore cause that show was so gay and they were 30 pretending to be like 16 and stuff...ugh.

4. Debby Harry / Blondie

everyone from Madossa to Courntey Love to Qwen Steffanie owe Debby Harry a big thank you. like to quote Sangra Bernhard, brielfy, without her, they would be nothing!

Blondie is the original sassy grrrl. She bleached her hair all the time and they named the band after her, not the other people in the band, the boys, and she wore razor blade dresses and shirts with no pants on stage like mary Alice does for her funny uncle and sang songs about stalkers and the Manson family and blood tests. Atomic!

Like Blondie is so empowered that like she even caught the attention of mass killer ted bundy because she was a cross over artist and like he tried to stuff her in his volkswagon. but she punched him in the face and got away. dumb boy. But like watch Summer of Sam and you can see!

5. PJ Harvey

PJ Harvey is like Jim morrison but unlike him who is like dead and stuff she is very much alive, she just sorta sounds a little dead.

PJ Harvey is from Mineeapolis and, supriseingly she was never a girl friend of Prince! Not many grrrlz know about her and like her songs. She writes about 50 foot woman killing boys and snakes that make her moan in the garden of eden. She like even opened up for U2! and despite what rumors you have heard there no realation to harvey weinsteen.

She did like a photography book once and the whole thing is just like pictures of her floating in famous rivers like the nille and the thammes and stuff dressed like Opheelia. Hope she had leach repellant.